


interstellar burst

by lesthowells



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-17 21:30:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14198091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesthowells/pseuds/lesthowells
Summary: Phil watches the way those words fall from Dan’s mouth and is mesmerised all over again.





	interstellar burst

The light in the room is dim, lit only by the candles on the bedside table and the twinkle of the fairy lights draped from the ceiling. The combination of light creates a soft glow around Phil’s vision-it makes Dan look softer, ethereal like. Phil reaches out for him again, the need to assure himself that Dan is real; the vision of him in front of his eyes wasn’t some find of fever dream. It felt like it could be, an illusion conjured by his imagination. Phil knows it’s not, he knows he is awake and this is real. Still it makes him wonder if he has been thrown out of his life and into another.

Dan’s skin is warm under his fingers, it always is but still surprises him. He traces each arch and contour, from the edge of Dan’s jaw down smooth line of his neck, flutters his fingers over the sharp of each prominent collarbone, down each ridge of his ribcage and settling into the dips of Dan’s hipbones. Phil can hear the erratic beat of his own heart, the vibrations thumping inside his head and he wonders if its loud enough for Dan to hear it too. He looks up again to familiar wide, brown eyes so intently focused on him he forgets to blink for a few seconds. Phil loves those eyes, loves that they can say a hundred different things and he can hear and feel them without words. He loves the depth of them, they were windows into the soul, to the parts of Dan that are still a mystery to him sometimes. He loves all of him, even the parts that he doesn’t always understand but hopes to maybe, one day.

“What are you thinking about? Dan whispers, breaking the silence surrounding them.

Phil watches the way those words fall from Dan’s mouth and is mesmerised all over again. How could he possibly answer that question? He feels like there are endless thoughts or things he could say, all jumbled and entwined together that he cannot focus on one alone. Phil feels like his mind in a haze, he feels separate from his body but through the dizziness, one answer takes form clearer than the rest. In his head it seems like the only thing to matter right now.

“I’m thinking that you are beautiful.” He whispers as if he is confessing a secret although it is far from it. Phil thinks he must have said these words a thousand times over the years and yet it feels as important as if it were the first time.

Phil watches the flush blooming on Dan’s cheeks, rosy and pink to match his lips and Phil longs to kiss him again. He wants to pour all the words he cannot say into a kiss strong enough to erase every bit of sadness still lingering inside Dan’s head. He wants to steal him away from the demons inside his own mind, Phil knows he cannot fight them for Dan, but it does not stop him wishing he could. He looks up at Dan now, at the lights behind surrounding him in a golden glimmer. He doesn’t look real. But he is, he is real, and Phil can feel the softness of Dan’s fingers against his jaw and temple. 

“You are more.” Dan’s reply is easy and languid, a curve of a smile blooming on his face. Dan is not always this unabashed with words but when he is it comes so naturally.

Phil shakes his head, disagreement ready and waiting but before he can say anything Dan leans down and fits the line of his lips against his own. Phil loses all other sense and thought, the kiss is gentle, aching in its tenderness and he feels the heavy weight of it in his heart and then all over. It feels different from the first time and the second and every other kiss they’ve shared since they met. Everything feels different and yet when Dan’s pulls away and he looks into the deep brown of his eyes, Phil feels like he has felt this moment before, in another life in another universe. He doesn’t know whether they were pulled towards each other in this one or if they just crashed, unsuspecting into one another.

Sometimes it feels a little like both.

Phil doesn’t think about time very often, not in the linear sense. Every moment was worth living and feeling, no matter the circumstance. He doesn’t like to dwell on the past, on what might have or could have been. Those infinities are not what makes his mind spiral or his heart flip. It’s the life he has here, and the person he has chosen to spend it with. Maybe they had crashed together after all? Or maybe they shouldn’t have decided to watch Interstellar at midnight, a three-hour film about space and interdimensional time travel had clearly done something to his brain. It’s past three am now and yet he doesn’t feel tired at all, he wouldn’t want to go to sleep even if he were. Phil reaches out for Dan again because suddenly he feels too far away, he needs the warmth of Dan’s skin under his hands and the feel of his lips, tongue and teeth against his own. They move together, connected by more than just the line of their bodies and the weight of touch, it’s more than that. It’ll s always be more than that.

When they pull apart they stay close, Phil watches the heavy rise and fall of Dan’s chest, almost in time with his own. He presses his fingers over the space where Dan’s heart is and feels the rushing beat of it. The heart that keeps the body in front him alive, the heart of this boy Phil loves more than anything in the world. It’s a good heart, the very best there ever could be.

“What are you thinking about?” Dan whispers again, his lips are as flushed as his cheeks.

Phil curls his fingers into Dan’s hips and thinks of the many things he could say. He thinks of the many conversations they could have right now. There is so much he wants to say, and he feels a sudden clasp of fear that he should say everything in case he does not get another chance. He looks into Dan’s eyes again, eyes that speak so much more than words ever could. It’s mad and stupid but he’s been awake for hours and maybe he is tired now. Phil takes a breath and smiles when Dan does, they share a silent understanding.

He knows there is still time. That they have a wide expanse of it mapped out in front of them, despite the uncertainty, there is a sea of possibility and opportunity.

“I’m thinking of you, of me and the universe,” Phil reaches up and entwines their fingers together. “I’m thinking of the future.” He presses a kiss to every fingertip watching Dan giggle, head slightly thrown back.

More than anything else, he wants this just this. The quiet and all-consuming happiness, this life that they share. It’s enough.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!
> 
> @lesthowells on tumblr


End file.
